Hello everyone….sent my messages two days back…sigh, lost…not sure where it had gone….it’s a conspiracy…well, just to promote my best entry (www.upsaid.com/felia) entitled ‘cherish everyone’. In fact, we can click on the names appear on the left side under facilitators in gameplan.blogspot. It is easier because it will link us straight to our friend’s upsaid account immediately….not sure if I should copy and paste it here but since sue and alariece have done so, I think I better do that same thing, hehe…here goes my best entry!!!!


i am not in a good mood these two days. perhaps i miss my late-father. i get myself a part time job in jusco as a promoter. i only work for weekends. last weekend, i worked and my moody feelings started to overcome me. i envied those kids out there. they went around, shopped together with their parents. this is really nice,

my father passed away when i was in form four. he had a sudden heart attack, again 'sudden'...real sudden heart attack because all this while he was fine with no black record in any clinic or hospital. that was really a terror nightmare for me. my father liked to cook and he usually helped me to cook because my mom worked in singapore and will only be back at home after midnight. he taught me a lot in cooking skill such as frying fish or beancurd.

that night, coincidently his birthday, he passed away after struggling for 3 hours in hospital. when i reached hospital, the doctor told me that they had done their best. this is so dramatic. i couldn't believe what i heard and i wasn't upset. i was still wondering. as many actresses or actors did in such situation, i asked the doctor if they had done their best, gosh...this is too dramatic. i saw him lying on the bed in the emergency room. i did not touch him. i just stared at him...his eyes were not closed. i recalled...his eyes werent closed. his last words before he was admitted to hospital was 'don't tell me this is my time, i don't want to die yet'....he told me that....

things just happened. now my mom is widowed, my siblings and i are fatherless. nobody can understand this kind of feelings because i had not got the chance to say sorry to my dad because I HAD AN ARGUMENT WITH HIM IN THAT AFTERNOON......my God...i am left with no chance. the truth is, till today i do not have the courage to look at his photo at his tomb. i dare not.

i had to pick up all the things by myself. no one will help me in wrapping my exercise books, no one to pay electricity bills, no one to back me up if i meet with any scroundels. if somebody bullies me, i have no one to back me up.

when i see those kids in jusco walking with their fathers, i felt so sad. i wish that could happen to me again. i can only remember that i helped him to tie his necktie. that may be nothing to most of you, but i really miss those days with my father.

for those of you, please cherish everyone around you coz one day you might not even have the chance to YES to them.